“When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.”
– H. Jackson Brown Jr.
At the estate sale the deceased elderly couple’s belongings weren’t fancy, or abundant. Things were laid out for viewing on tables, counters and beds; souvenirs from their travels, an antique cuckoo clock, tools in the garage, books on shelves, and kitchenware. I’d stopped by hoping to find a set of fireplace tools and I bought an old brass set for $12. I was fine sorting through another person’s life until I came to the bedroom closet. There was a sign that said ‘All clothes $1.00.’
I looked at this unknown woman’s collection of sensible shoes and flower printed dresses. I wondered if she’d had a good life, if she used to hike in the mountains outside her door. I wondered where in the world she and her husband traveled to, if she was loved, did someone miss her?
Zen Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has a hugging meditation where you stand in front of someone you love and take turns saying, “One day I will be gone. One day you will be gone. This is the only moment we have.” And then you hug.
Here’s what Thich Nhat Hanh said about this mediation: “You have to really hug the person you are holding. You have to make him or her very real in your arms…breathing consciously and hugging with all your body, spirit, and heart. Say, ‘Breathing in, I know my dear one is in my arms, alive. Breathing out, he is so precious to me.’ If you breath deeply like that, holding the person you love, the energy of care and appreciation will penetrate into that person and he will be nourished and bloom like a flower.”
Life isn’t about the places we’ve been, or the things we’ve collected, or even the houses we’ve lived in. Maybe what life is about is spreading the energy of care and appreciation by hugging as many people as possible. It was a hug that made me fall in love with my husband thirty years ago. When we first met, even before we knew each other’s names, Cradoc embraced me like a precious gift. I knew if I planted myself in those arms every day I’d be nourished and bloom like a flower. And I have.
Live is short. Slow down. Spread love. Share hugs.
