”Your life is supposed to be a journey from one unique place to another; it’s not supposed to be a merry-go-round that brings you back to the same spot over and over again.”
– Rachel Hollis
In the book “Girl Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals,” Rachel Hollis shares a great analogy (a bit paraphrased): “Imagine you’re a glass vase and someone is pouring water into you. Water that is everything you need to survive; energy, nutrients, love, joy. But we women don’t think of ourselves as often as we worry about other people. So we lean over to spill our vase of good things onto other people – children, spouses, parents, friends, coworkers. We tip a bit here and there until the vase falls over and breaks into a thousand pieces. We spend so much effort trying to take care of others that we destroy ourselves in the process.
If you’re a vase and you just stand tall and proud on a firm foundation, if you just take in all the things that are being poured into you, what will eventually happen to the water in the vase? It will overflow and spill out to everyone around you. If you’re uncomfortable, aching, tired, anxious, depressed or suffering in any way, you’re not standing firmly on a strong foundation and letting your vase overflow. You’re not setting yourself up for success.”
I love the analogy of standing firmly on a strong foundation to let my vase overflow. I used to be a big-time vase tipper, especially when it came to trying to make my mother happy. Over the years I’ve learned to tip my vase less and in the process discovered I’m not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. I didn’t have to stop caring, or being kind, or offering support to do this. It was about filling myself up with self-love firsI without feeling guilty.
I can improve upon my ability to receive all the goodness that’s being poured into me by allowing my vase to grow bigger. I need a bigger vase to make room for the bounty of wildness that wants to take root. Then I will walk softly on this beautiful earth, leaving behind a trail of nutrient rich good things overflowing from my wild heart – without ever missing a drop.