“Words can travel thousands of miles.
May my words create mutual understanding and love. May they be as beautiful as gems, as lovely as flowers.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Remember the experiment done by the Russian physiologist, Ivan Pavlov? Whenever he gave his dog food he rang a bell, conditioning the sound of bell with food. So when he rang only the bell the dog’s salivation increased because of the association between the bell and food – a new conditioned response.
Like Pavlov’s dog many people have a conditioned response to the ding and ring of our cell phones. We don’t start to salivate for food like dogs, but we learn to associate the ding and ring with the reward of connection.
I resisted getting a cell phone for years. I didn’t want to always be reachable, or interrupted, As a child I never came when my mother called me. I wanted to finish what I was doing first. I was one of those people who could let my landline ring and ring with the answering machine turned off.
Having a cell phone hasn’t taken over my life. If my mother couldn’t get me to come when she called, no handheld gadget was going to succeed either. Instead, its taught me a new way of mindfulness.
I turn off my phone when I write, walk, meditate, eat, and when I go to bed. I leave the phone off in the early morning so the magic time before the world wakes up is my own.
When my phone is on and it dings or rings instead of responding like Pavlov’s dog, as though that call or text is the most important thing in my life, I use the sound as a reminder to be aware of my breath.
Breathing in I am calm.
Breathing out I embrace the present moment.
If I wait to respond for even a few breaths, I don’t feel interrupted and I’m available and happy to connect.
This works the other way also. When I’m the one texting or calling, I pay attention to my breath while I wait for a response.
Breathing in I am patient.
Breathing out I smile.
What about you? Do you need to look at the conditioned responses to the rings and dings in your life?
