Blog, Lifestyle

I’m OK…

April 20, 2020
statue, musuem

“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”
– Confucius

A friend in Vancouver, Canada thought she saw me in London Drugs. She was on the verge of calling my name when my apparent twin announced to anyone listening, “I’m down to my last roll and I can’t find toilet paper anywhere.”

Luckily I’m not in that situation thanks to an early warning from a retired park ranger who has been through many natural disasters. She said the first thing to go is toilet paper. So I went to the still fully stocked supermarket and couldn’t decide between two different packages, so I bought both.

A while back I watched a clip on Youtube from a show called Extreme Cheapskates. This is not something I’d normally watch but America’s Cheapest Mother fascinated me. She lives in a million dollar home in a nice neighborhood (bought on a short sale for $450k and she sold the basement apartment to her parents for $225k.) She’s proud of her rationing, of well, everything. For example, with a basket in hand she goes door to door to her neighbors to ask for left overs, or any food they weren’t going to use. (Her monthly food bill for a family of five is $180). She bakes cookies on the dashboard of her car so she doesn’t use any power (she lives in Texas where the temperature inside the car is 160 degrees F).

But what really caught my attention was how she cut her family’s use of toilet paper from 300 rolls a year to only 40 by rationing the number of squares at the start of each day (she and her young son count them out).

At the time I laughed at how extreme she was. But who knows how long I need to make my remaining rolls of toilet paper last. So now I’m also rationing – two squares for number one and six squares for number two. That’s probably way more information than you needed, or wanted, to know. But this isn’t a time to keep secrets from one another. If you have 20 rolls of toilet paper left, don’t worry. That could last you six months – if you’re willing to ration.

A friend of mine called her elderly mother to see if she had enough food in the house. Her mother said, “Who needs food. As long as I have enough toilet paper I’m ok.”

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