“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”
– Rachel Naomi Remen
I listened to the meditation teacher Tara Brach talk about seeing basic goodness in others. A friend wrote her a card listing all the ways she saw the goodness in Tara and it meant so much for her to have her goodness seen, to be cared about, to be experienced in that clear way. She said, “If we can remember how much it nurtures our hearts to be seen, to believe in ourselves, we will naturally want to extend this goodness to others.”
Tara shared a story of Rachel Naomi Remen’s, a storyteller and physician. Her grandfather, an orthodox rabbi, used to call her Neshume-le, which is Hebrew for “Beloved Little Soul.” He taught her that blessing one another is what fills our emptiness, heals our loneliness, and connects us more deeply to life. He died when she was young but she felt seen and honored by him. Much later near the end of her mother’s life Rachel told her mother about her grandfather’s blessings. Her mother smiled at her sadly and said, “I have blessed you every day of your life. I just never had the wisdom to do it out loud.”
Tara asked people to write about when they saw the goodness in others. Here are a few of their responses:
When my youngest son can hear fatigue in my voice and brings me a cup of water.
When my dog walks up and drops a frisbee on my lap in the middle of me crying from loneliness.
When my dad after a massive stroke couldn’t walk or use one of his arms and he asked, “Sweetheart, can I get you anything?” while we sat together.
When my wife greets the parking attendant, cashier or waitress with such kindness, attention, and respect.
When my five year old daughter says to the sun at sunset, “Goodbye, I love you,” in the purest voice filled with gratitude.
When do you see the goodness in others? Let people know out loud what you see…
